Brain Splatter




It’s Mother’s Day. The day we all thank our moms & our friends who are mothers. Also a day we acknowledge all types of “moms”. I hope we can truly take this to heart & carry it with us through the other 364 days. ALL mothers. It is so easy to bash mothers. We either don’t agree with the way they raise their kids or how they carry themselves.Let’s not even bring step mothers into this conversation-right? Or those who either gave up their children, or had them taken from them. These are still mothers. Motherhood is ugly. It’s demanding & all too often it is frowned upon, or taken from us.

The joy of motherhood is not such a joy when you are 16.
The joy of motherhood is not such a joy when you are an addict.
The joy of motherhood is not such a joy when you are homeless.

This list goes on & on, but the point is, it is still motherhood.
The 16 year old, addict, or homeless woman is still a mother.
Whether they give birth, miscarry, or abort, they are still mothers.

There is no greater gift or empowerment as a woman I have ever known beyond the ability to give life.
There is no greater gift I have ever received than the life of my nephew.

You see, I have 3 kids. I never thought I could ever have a greater moment than the moment my first was born, then came the second, then came the third. All were the greatest moments of my life. There is just nothing that can compare to the day your child is born.
But these were my children. From the moment they were conceived, I knew I would fight every moment of my life for them & love them til my last breath.

Two years ago, was a different story. I found out I had a nephew. He had been taken from his mother at birth-no family notified. He was “in the system”.

Now I could bash her & my brother. I could go on & on about the what, why, & hows. And I did. I was disgusted, horrified, sad, angry, frustrated & scared …the list of emotions goes on. But, I cannot imagine what it must have taken to carry this child 9 months knowing he was going to be taken away. I can not imagine the bittersweet moment of going into labor, or holding him for the first or last time. I still completely lose it when I try to imagine how it felt to walk out of that hospital without him. But she did. She did not have an abortion or leave him in a dumpster. She did not let fear or shame keep her from giving him all she could. So, she gave us the ultimate gift-our nephews life. And she gave me, her role as mother. She will always be his mother, and so will I.

Mothers are human. We come from all areas of life. Even the best moms have had bad times. And, lord knows we have all made plenty of mistakes. But mothers have one thing in common, we all do the best we can for our children, despite our circumstances. Sometimes it is hard to see that, but all you have to do is look again. Put yourself in their shoes. . .and thank them.

So, before you frown upon, mommy bash, or say but she is not a real mom-take a step back & ask yourself why. It’s not a contest. I really hope we quit talking about empowering women & start doing it. We will never accomplish that by finding the faults, only by accepting we all have them & helping each other when we need to.bod

Ruining Lives

We have become a society of self defeating rules based on judgments. Turning people into the bad guy forever by making it impossible to overcome. Stigmas, labels, rules, & contempt have clouded us all. Mistakes become lifestyles & excuses become our way of life.
Continue reading “Ruining Lives”

Innocent Questions


I was at a yard sale today when I started talking to a boy, all of about 8, sitting in a chair quietly watching everyone. He wasn’t playing a game or on a phone. He was just sitting there, quietly & it felt sad. I started asking him about certain things for sale, and a guy walked out (I assumed was his dad).
Continue reading “Innocent Questions”

Look Ma No Hands

So, I came across this little story today… The groping story

Continue reading “Look Ma No Hands”

Here We Go Again

And by we, I mean me. So, those who have read my stuff, know I have 3 boys (one who is still in the process of becoming a girl). I raised all 3 on my own. I made sure I could not have any more & have been kid free for less than one year. Well…
Continue reading “Here We Go Again”

Let Me Explain


While this will be more of a ranting, perhaps it will answer some unasked questions. Either way, I am simply tired of holding it in.  I am a loner. I am single. And I am tired.
Continue reading “Let Me Explain”

Nothing Short of Beautiful


So, as I wake up on my youngest sons 21st birthday, wondering just how much alcohol his body can & will take, I see hints of Prince being dead. Within the hour, it is confirmed that Prince has died.  Continue reading “Nothing Short of Beautiful”

A Day in the Life

Well, it’s been a few since I have written & a lot has happened. First of all, I quit my job (long story there as I went in to talk to my boss & basically walked out the door for good). Then, I got hired by a place I have been really wanting to work for for a while now. That worked out. On the literal day I got the phone call that I got hired, I also got a phone call from the police in New Jersey. Continue reading “A Day in the Life”

Missing Moments


Parenthood is no easy task. We all know that. Despite our best preparations, we are thrown for many loops, twists, & turns along the way. And, just when you think you have heard, seen, or been through it all, there is more. Continue reading “Missing Moments”

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