INXS was playing. I smelled coffee, thank gawd. Felt the sun coming through the window in our room. I stretched & got out of bed. Stumbling over cars, trains, blocks, puzzles and gawd knows what else, I made my way through the hallway, closer to you.
And there you were. Standing in the kitchen, talking to the boys, eating breakfast.
When we had our first child at 16, we were both so unsure. I guess that’s normal though, no matter your age. I know it sure wasn’t any less scary at 44. But as I stand here, briefly, before getting that coffee behind you, I know this is what is meant to be. There is nothing to fear, other than dealing with mini versions of us.
You balance me. I balance you. We keep each other grounded yet full of life. There is no one I would ever be able to live with or raise children with, other than you. There is no one I will ever be capable of feeling this love for. And there is no better place to raise children in, than a house full of love.
So, I walk into the kitchen, past the space you were standing, to get my coffee. I smile at our kids & ask all the questions you were asking just moments ago, in my imagination. And I hope some day we will all be together again, in some alternate universe.